Here’s something to think about. There are actually things we usually say to our kids that can do more harm than good.
What we had thought was positive reinforcement could actually have a negative impact on our kids. This just means we have to be more careful with the things we say to our kids.
We already know how negative words can really hurt our kids. Any kind of profanity or condescending phrases within earshot of our kids is not acceptable.
As parents, we also know that we have to avoid using old-school phrases that can either scare or threaten our kids.
But it’s not just the negative words that can hurt our kids. Yes, even the things that we have been so used to saying can hurt them. Who would have thought so? After all, these everyday phrases seem so harmless. They sound positive enough to encourage our kids. But they don’t.
It is quite hard to decipher which of the everyday phrases can actually hurt our kids. But there’s no need to do that.
Here’s the list of 10 common phrases we have to stop saying to our kids.
1. “Great job.” Be as specific as you can.
2. “Practice makes perfect.” Instead, encourage your child to work hard because he’ll improve and feel proud of his progress..
3. “You’re okay.” Your job is to help him understand and deal with his emotions, not discount them.
4. “Hurry up!” Soften your tone slightly by saying, “Let’s hurry,” which sends the message that the two of you are on the same team.
5. “I’m on a diet.” It’s better to say, “I’m eating healthy because I like the way it makes me feel.”
6. “We can’t afford that.” Choose an alternative way to convey the same idea.
7. “Don’t talk to strangers.” Instead of warning her about strangers, bring up scenarios.
8. “Be careful.” If you’re feeling anxious, move close to spot him in case he takes a tumble, being as still and quiet as you can.
9. “No dessert unless you finish your dinner.” Tweak your message along these lines: “First we eat our meal and then we have dessert.”
10. “Let me help.” Instead, ask guiding questions to help him solve the problem.
We’ve all said these phrases at one time or another. All the while we had thought these everyday phrases sent positive messages to our kids. But apparently, they don’t’.
Now is a good time to really assess what we say to our kids. It’s not enough to say positive words and phrases. We have to carefully consider the messages that come with them. There’s one too many meanings that can come with a positive phrase and that may not be good for our kids.
So it wouldn’t hurt to take it from the experts that had spent some time studying the everyday phrases. They have looked way beyond the words to know how these everyday phrases can harm our kids.
And if you want to know more about what the experts have to say about it, you can read this great article on parents.com by Michelle Crouch.
It really takes more than just blurting out a couple of positive sounding phrases to encourage our kids. We need to carefully choose the right words to send the right message to our kids.
Which of the above phrases are you often guilty of saying?
